[MUSIC] Welcome back. In the last video of this module I'm going to talk about coaching someone who is frustrated with annother colleague who doesn't meet their expectations and perhaps even their deadlines. This is another example of developmental coaching. As you probably expect, this is an opportunity for mindset coaching as it relates to coaching algebra. We'll also discuss how to not under-coach the situation and make sure that our employees know that they have opportunities to improve their own performance even if they can't affect someone else's. I hope you've enjoyed this module on common coaching scenarios and that you've walked away with some practical tips and strategies for these situations. In the next course we'll be revisiting some of these typical scenarios in a more real-world context, so that you can see how these types of coaching conversations might play out. All right, with that, let's get started. This is another example of developmental coaching. And this is also an opportunity for mindset coaching as it relates to coaching algebra. I want to make sure that we talk about how to help people here, how to not under coach the situation. And how to help our employees know that they have opportunities for themselves to improve their own performance. I have a whole other line of work that I do, related to working with difficult people. The truth is, there are difficult people everywhere we go. We can't hide from them, and telling ourselves that they shouldn't exist, is just a false belief. [LAUGH] There are difficult people everywhere. Right, we're going to encounter them at work and our employees are going to encounter them at work. And wishing they would just change and be different is not effective, that's that resisting what is issue, right. We're starting to hope that someone will just become a different person. That's not going to do anybody any good. So, what we have to do with this particular employee is recognize that we are dealing with a mindset, right? We are dealing with somebody who has thoughts about a colleague that are interfering with their ability to work with them. Now, we could have a little bit of a skill set issue because maybe your employee has never had to work with someone like this and so they don't even know how to begin working with them. And so we might need to do some role playing and some exercises just to help them kind of practice how to communicate with someone who may not be delivering results or who may not be living up to their expectations. But ultimately what we want to do with this employee is help them recognize that thinking that someone is difficult or frustrating actually makes it happen. If you think about our thought model. And if I think that you are difficult and I have to work with you, I might feel annoyed. And when I feel annoyed and I'm working with you, I might be short or overly direct with you, or I might even disengage. And then I want you to notice what kind of result do you get when you act that way with someone. They might actually think you're difficult. Right? Which is so fascinating. So the difficulty, or lack thereof, within a relationship is not relevant to the work that needs to be done. And so what we have to do with people that work for us and with us is just have conversations about productivity and getting the work done. And so if you have an employee who is frustrated because someone's not meeting expectations or deadlines. Then the work here is first to help them evaluate how they're thinking and how that's influencing how they're behaving with this person. But secondly, how can you help them keep the conversations focused on the work that needs to be done. And, you know, there's a truth that I think has to be told and that's that there are a lot of people who go to work everyday, who are not accountable to their commitments. And their managers don't hold them accountable. And that gets very frustrating in a colleague and peer environment, when my work is influenced by your work but your boss doesn't hold you accountable to getting it done. And that's a culture issue within every organization. And so sometimes we just have to acknowledge that to our employee and say, yeah, I agree, I think it should be different. I think there should be more opportunity for people to be held accountable for their commitments. But while you're working with this person, the best thing you can do is just continue to talk to them about how and when will they get their work done. Being frustrated, angry, irritated, annoyed with the colleague doesn't serve the relationship. It doesn't help the work get done. And so when we're coaching that employee, we really want to help them recognize that there are some other options available to them. So that they don't have to feel so frustrated. And if we can help our employee recognize that feeling frustrated is within their control, or not feeling frustrated because they can choose to think something differently, that the outcome is not what's driving how they're feeling. It's what they're thinking about it that is. [LAUGH] We can help them feel better, and when employees feel better, they work better, right? So this is a pretty big one because I think all of us work with people that frustrate us, that we wish could just be different. Unfortunately we can't change other people, maybe that's a good thing I think actually in the long run. But we can't. And so instead we have to decide, who do we want to be in this circumstance. And I think that's a great question to ask your employee. Yes, you work with someone who doesn't deliver as well as you do. Yes, you admit you work with someone who misses deadlines. All of that's true. So who do you want to be in this relationship? Who do you want to be as a result? Because we know we can't change them. So what do you want for yourself? Let's think about it that way, right? And give them the opportunity to have that kind of reflection instead of just hoping the other person will change. Because that's just wishing for something that's likely never going to happen. So we have covered in these last videos different scenarios on how to coach. People who are facing different performance issues. So hopefully we've applied both the tactical and developmental accountability notion as well as skill set and mindset coaching. To an extent that can be really helpful for you as we move into the next course. Which is when you're going to start seeing some real-life coaching conversations and diagnosing what you're observing as a result of all of the learning we've done so far. So, in summary, we've reviewed different scenarios of how to coach people with different performance issues. And we've applied both tactical and developmental accountability, really thinking through which one makes the most sense based on the issue that we're dealing with. And we've also demonstrated that there's an opportunity using coaching algebra, to apply skill set and mindset coaching. And sometimes we use just one, sometimes we use both, right? Depending on the performance challenge that we're working with.
